I keep trying to get a handle on the visions and the flood of emotions. I don’t seem to be able to totally stop them but I do feel like I’m more in control. I just feel like I’m fumbling around in an area I have no real understanding of. Everything I read says I need to set boundaries and try to take control or this stuff will wreck me so I’m trying.

Oct 8

I keep seeing the faceless things. It doesn’t feel like a regular vision. I could see them moving about on streets and it looks like the us from what I can tell. I keep pushing to see more. I only get little, short glimpses. I keep hearing the talking like over the radio but I can’t make out what is being said. Just like before I feel like it is someone controlling them. More of the faceless things are trying to hide I can tell by the masks. They are seething. Some of the men and women I have seen that were dogs are milling around as well.

Oct15

Ok more short views. I’m seeing the faceless things in multiple places one of which was an english looking country like the Usa. I saw a Subway sandwich shop behind one group. I was trying to push to see longer bits and one of the groups looked right at me. I mean not in my direction but right at me like my trying to see more of what they were doing made it possible for them to see me. It really freaked me out. I could hear them talking about something but I didn’t recognize the language. When they looked at me I woke up like immediately. I lay there and drifted back off and started seeing things again. After a few short views I pushed again and they looked right at me again and said something and I jumped up. Somehow my trying harder to see is letting them know I’m watching or maybe it even projects me there? I’m not sure what exactly is going on but lots of excited sounding talk. The feelings of dread are still there and I definitely feel like something bad is coming. I still keep hearing what sounds like radio transmissions in some of the views I get to see.

Oct 23

I still keep seeing the faceless things. Three or four days since my last note they flash into my dreams. Ive been trying to suppress the visions somewhat because it really drags me down. The energy toll and the emotional toll is hard to handle as often as the visions come. Even with trying to push the visions out of my mind I can see the faceless things are angrier and it seems even more fearful. I can feel that whatever force that is pushing them is getting more and more furious wanting things to happen. It feels like the driving force is lashing out more and more ferociously. There is a groundswell of evil that feels ready to burst.

Same night hours later.

I’m in a room with four of the faceless things and three humans. All of them are wearing military type clothes. One of the faceless things keeps looking at me. I’m trying not to focus my energy on them too much afraid they will see me clearly. The faceless thing that is looking at me has eyes painted on his face. It looks like a kid used a paint brush and acrylic paints to try to paint eyes on this thing, it’s almost funny looking. I just keep thinking they are trying to camouflage themselves to fool the humans. There is lots of chattering back and forth. The faceless things speak a language I can’t make out. The humans are speaking arabic. They are talking at a frenzied pace. Mr painted eyes keeps slowing down his talking and looking at me. I think is somehow getting a feeling I’m there without actually seeing me. I hear a voice in my head and it’s Ben. He tells me to move away. I’m not sure how to do that because I don’t feel like I’m standing there but like I’m watching through some kind of portal. While I’m pondering the move away statement and doing nothing different like an idiot ,there is a crushing pain all over me and things go black.

Now I’m standing outside of a bunch of rubble and Ben is standing there. I look at him and he says “I told you to move away”.

I guess that was my first death by airstrike. I’m not sure if I am seeing things through the eyes of someone who is there or if I’m projecting myself into some of these things I see? Maybe it’s both or something else entirely. I feel like Ben could tell me but so far all of his communication has been a look or a smile and the occasional nod. Today was the first time I heard his voice. Both he and the woman that I see in these visions act like I should just know somethings that I just don’t understand. Sometimes they look at me like I should just know things.